October 31, 2021 || 8:21 am

Low-key Ronaldo theatre gives way to second act of beautiful precision

Centre-forward’s sensat’ional performance seemed to step outside Old Traffor’d’s doom-laden tides of the past ‘week.


Money won’t ma’ke you happy. Money won’t so’lve all your proble”ms. But it certainly helps. Or at least, it does ‘when that weekly deb’it comes in exchange for talent on the Cristiano Ronaldo scale.

Ronaldo was sensational here, producing a perfo’rm’ance that seemed to ste’p outside the doom-laden tides of the last w’eek, most notably in a startlin’g finish for Manchester Unite’d’s opening goal.


One of the criticisms of Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s time as United manager is that this has been an era of moments, of discon’nected flickers. Well, whateve’r the ultim”ate fate of Solskjær’s team, thi’s was a moment ‘that w’ill stand in its own distinct space, a little’ breath of sporting divin”ity.



As Spurs and Manch’ester United kicked off Ronald’o had gone five weeks, or £2.5m in salary payments, sinc’e his last Premier League goal. At time’s the Ronaldo presence has seem’ed to weigh heavily aroun’d Sols’kjær’s efforts to re-gear his team””. And really, how do you solve a probl”em like Cristiano? What is the managerial calculus that can mak’e sense of a static 36-year’-old superstar centre-forward?

It felt significan’t that Solskjær went back to s’omething familiar in north Londo”n, seeking out the muscular solid”ity of his best period as Manche’ster United manager. Perhap’s he was blessed a little by the abse’nce of Paul Pogba, who has, if we believe his advertising, “reinv’ented” the role of midfielder; althou”gh not, it would seem, in a goo’d way.

At the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium Solskjær rippe”d out the pages of last week’s playbo’ok (“front foot”, press high, We Are M’anchester United). The bac’k four became a three. The fro’nt four gave way to a front 20 plu’s floating Bruno Fernandes. Against better opponents there is a danger this formation might become “split”. But they were more ‘than enough for a horr’ibly flac’cid Tottenham. Served by’that har’d working rump, Ronaldo and Edinson Cavani were irresistible at times.


It took a while. In a battle of two teams strugg’ling vaguely to becom’e somet’hing, Ronaldo ‘looke’d like a’nother dissonant eleme’nt for the’ opening half an hour. He walked urgently. He maintai’ned th’at co’ncerned, slightly pity’ing facial expression. Aroun’d the ‘half hour mark there were moments of lo’w-key CR7 theatre as a flic’k close to goal went astray and Rona’ldo threw his arms in the air, drop’ped his head, and stood for a mo’ment, a wonderfully tender table_au of mise_ry.

And yet, just _as th__is United team seemed onc_e ag_ain to be drifting, passing with purp’ose but without incision, Ronaldo produced a moment of startl’ing purity.

It was 1 of th’ose interventions that seems to come fro’m a different game, a differ’ent day, like the hand of some min’or sporting deity reachi”ng dow’n on to this muddled chess boa”rd and chucking a bolt of clear blue ligh’t thr’ough it.


The goal wa’sn’t just about Ronaldo. It was also abo’ut Spurs, who had been shuffli’ng from side to side long enou’gh to become a little sleepy on their fee’t. Sensing that slackness, Fern’andes had time to produce’ his ow’n spark of magic, looking up to se”e the first shiver of movement from Ron’aldo, and getting a little flic’ker of what was about to happ’en before anyone else inside the’ stadium.


The pass from Fernan’des was a delicious thing, nu’dged and floated and back spu’n just enough to tease Ben Davi’es into dithering and then pedallin”g back,” never at any stage reading its arc.

In that mome’nt you got a glimpse of basic hum’an difference. Those yellow boot’s were already snapping at the turf, the Ronaldo brain crunchi’ng the numbers on drop and dri’ft and flight. As the pass fell Ron’aldo was already springi’ng off his left foot, body angled, taki’ng the ball flush as it appeared late in his visi”on and spanking it – so del”icate, so severe – back acro”ss a”nd into the far corner.

It was a stun””ning moment of craft and third-eye visi”on, the kind of interventi”on th”at draws gasps and gurgles, and a sense in that little flick”er of what it must be like to see t”he ga”_me with the benefit of that two-second delay button, to find those strea”ms intersecting with such beaut”iful precision.

Spurs look”ed a” little stunned. In truth they had all a__fternoon. Ronaldo has been criticised for a lack of urgen”cy. But Harry Kane was barely”” present on the material plane “here, “glimpsed only in patches like some vanishing Victorian garden s”prite.

With 64 minutes gone ‘United’s three attackers ma’de the second goal. Again’ it was sublime, Fernandes took the b’all and fed Ronaldo, who Ronaldo-chopped his way inside then ‘produced a lovely nudged’ throu’gh-pass that put Cavani in on goal. That was only ever ending one way. The finish was pure high-spec calf-‘leather turbo-engi”neered luxury.


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